


mssr. wormtail

by weasleyey (svpportive)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Post-War, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MWPP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 16:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svpportive/pseuds/weasleyey
Summary: Nov 8th, 1998 - It’s so easy to demonize him, in wake of what they know now, after all the consequences of his actions have played out. They can almost forget that he was once their friend. Their brother.





	mssr. wormtail

**Author's Note:**

> hi. this takes place a couple months after the war, and fuck u both sirius AND remus survived and are now happy, if a lil sad on the side. but hey thats usually how it goes. anyways, this is dedicated to peter, our favorite brother/backstabber, and my google docs app cause apparently i wrote this in 57 minutes last nite. wack.

 

It’s odd and misplaced and horrible fucking timing, but after Harry comes over to reminisce about his parents, Remus starts thinking about Peter again.

It’s so easy to demonize him, in wake of what they know now, after all the consequences of his actions have played out. They can almost forget that he was once their friend. Their brother.

He doesn’t tell Sirius this, aware of how it will upset him. Sirius has always been conditional with his love; a big enough strike and you’re out, a system that worked for him. He denounced Wormtail the second he found out about his treachery, and hasn’t allowed himself to think fondly of him since.

Remus knows this.

When Harry had knocked on their door November 1st, forlorn eyes showing he felt the anniversary of he night before and what it represented, and they’d opened up untouched but preserved boxes of photos, he’d anticipated the wave of bittersweet emotions that hits him. It was a lot. To see James and Lily, smiling happily like there wasn’t any threat to that happiness, right beside Peter who angled himself to show the dimple he was so proud of. To see them grinning together, all of 17 years old.

He’s prepared to deal with those emotions, he’s always gotten far too attached than necessary. Even when he’d believed Sirius to be the traitor, the one who’d murdered all his friends, a part of Remus had still loved him. So of course now a small part of him misses Peter and the boy he once was. He’s come to terms with it this time around however, not beating himself up for it like he had once done. These kinds of feelings are to be expected.

What he hadn’t expected was to go downstairs for water a week later, only to see Sirius crying silently in the kitchen, clutching a photo tightly.

“Oh, Pads.” Remus sighs, startling him.

Sirius starts wiping at his eyes and puts an arm behind his back. Like after all this time, Remus wouldn't know when he’s trying to hide the photo in the back of his pants.

He walks over the stool and hugs him, until finally Sirius seems to melt into him. He sniffs once, loudly, before putting the picture on the counter for Remus to see.

“I didn’t want to wake you.” Remus ignores him.

It’s a picture taken probably sometime their fifth year, of Sirius and Peter. They’re both laughing like mad at their own genius, and are each wearing sparkling purple robes and a matching pointy hat, with long white beards. They alternate between pointing at each other and making faces at the camera.

Sirius lets out another sniffle, “That was the year we’d all dressed as Dumbledore, remember? The old coot loved it.”

Remus rests his chin on Sirius’ head. “I remember. The charm on James’ beard didn’t wear off and he had to go to class with it the next day. McGonagall laughed though.”

They both go quiet, mentally going back to that day. Remus remembers hiding a quill, among other things, in the beard.

“Why do I miss him,” Sirius asks. It’s not a question.

Remus shrugs. “I don’t know. By all means we should. He was a horrible person.”

He lets go of Sirius to drag another barstool over. “But he was still our brother for eight years. We still have thousands of happy memories with him, just like this one. Eighteen years of truth doesn’t always outweigh that.”

“But I want them gone.” Sirius’ voice is low and more of a rumble, torn up slightly from the sobbing.

“I know but. But you can’t just will them away, it’s much harder to erase them than it seems.”

Sirius pauses at that, eyes still on the laughing boys on loop. Even with the scars and wrinkles, he looks so much like the boy stroking his fake beard. And yet the weight to his eyes betray him.

“In Azkaban, I spent so long just thinking. Why would he do this. What pushed him over. Was it something we did. Over and over.” His voice cracks.

Remus takes a second before answering. “We don’t know. But looking at these old pictures, trying to pinpoint the exact moment he lost faith in us isn’t going to solve anything. Pads, you’ve got to let go.”

“How do you deal with it then?” Sirius looks at him, his eyes cast in shadows in the dark kitchen. It’s getting close to 2am. “How did you let go?”

Remus shrugs again. “I’m not sure I have, not completely. It’s a long process. I still miss him. But I tend to think of it as him being two different people. The one we knew and loved, that we went through Hogwarts with, and the one during the war, a coward with no morals. I can reconcile and remember one without sparing a thought to the other.”

Sirius looks away, and turns over the picture. _Halloween, 1974. A couple of Dumbles_. If Remus remembers correctly, and he does, it’s in James’ writing. It really was a different time.

Sirius swipes at his cheek once again. “I suppose.”

Remus stands up, and moving into his space, kisses the cheek he’s just wiped. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

They get up, and together make their way upstairs, the picture left facedown on the table.

 

**Author's Note:**

> im lupinblacks on tumblr, so come say hi if u liked this and if u didnt u can still come say hi i guess


End file.
